Why being who "they" expect can silence who you really are.

Dec 19
We all do it—put on a smile, dial up the energy, and show up how we think we’re supposed to.

Whether it's at work, a family event, or even just the school pickup line, many of us spend our days performing a version of ourselves that feels polished, but not quite real. It’s what psychologists and neuroscientists call self-monitoring—and while it’s a normal part of social life, staying “on” all the time can chip away at your sense of authenticity in some sneaky, science-backed ways.
What happens to your brain when it's "on"?When you're in performative mode, your brain activates the Task Positive Network (TPN). This network helps you focus, plan, and follow social rules—essentially, it’s your “do-the-thing” brain.

But here’s the catch: the more time you spend in this task-driven mode, the less active your Default Mode Network (DMN) becomes. The DMN is the part of your brain that kicks in during quiet reflection, self-awareness, creativity, and meaning-making. In other words: when you’re always performing, you spend less time processing who you really are.

The Hidden Costs of Staying “On”
Being “on” can feel harmless, helpful, or like the only way to get through the day. But there are real short, mid, and long term effects of being "on" that affect your ability to show up as your true, most authentic self. Here they are in a nutshell:
  • Short-term: You feel drained after social interactions—even ones that should be fun. You might notice you’re second-guessing yourself or comparing yourself to others more often.
  • Mid-term: Your values and preferences start to feel fuzzy. You’re less clear on what you want, what excites you, and what feels aligned.
  • Long-term: You risk becoming disconnected from your sense of self altogether. It can feel like you're living a life that looks good on the outside but feels... empty.

Reclaiming the Real You
The good news? Your brain is built to bounce back.

When you intentionally shift from performance mode into self-connection mode, you give your DMN time to re-engage. That’s when clarity returns. That’s when authenticity has space to grow.

The Authentic Me Challenge was designed with this science in mind. It invites you to pause, reflect, and reconnect—so you don’t lose yourself in the noise of daily life. Because you shouldn’t have to perform your way through life. You deserve to live it as you.

Try it FREE today when you create a profile with DailyMe+ when you use the code FOUNDER at checkout.  (This limited time offer expires when our app goes LIVE, so sign up today!)